3 Negotiating Abilities That May Additionally Enhance Your Well being
By consciously placing practices in place that promote pausing, lively listening and moments of laughter, dealer Pam Blair writes, we will set ourselves up for a optimistic, extra productive negotiation expertise for everybody concerned.
This January marks Inman’s fifth annual Agent Appreciation Month, which culminates at Inman Connect New York in a celebration of brokers on the finish of January. Plus, we’re rolling out the coveted Inman Power Player Awards, in addition to the New York Energy Brokers and MLS Innovators awards.
I used to be watching Shark Tank the opposite day and located myself tensing up because the foreboding music began and the following entrepreneur walked into “The Tank.” I seen their posture, their facial features and their respiratory. Certainly, that courageous soul was readying themselves for a hard-core negotiation that might doubtlessly change their life.
As brokers and brokers, we’re thrown into the “tank” a number of occasions all through the day. Negotiating is on the coronary heart of our enterprise. A few of us are born negotiators, however it’s most likely protected to say that, for many of us, it’s a honed ability.
How does all of this negotiating have an effect on our well being?
Studies show that for almost all of individuals, the concept of “negotiating” evokes nervousness. It’s because we anticipate the potential of battle throughout negotiations. Many people are hardwired to keep away from battle as a result of we understand it as a risk to our well-being.
What if we reframed the “artwork of negotiating” as one thing that empowered us somewhat than disarmed us? What if it was truly good for our well being?
3 negotiating expertise that might enhance your well being
1. The pause
After I was new to the biz, I attended an organization new agent coaching. The one factor that I bear in mind from that three-week interval is a really seasoned agent, a former legal professional, who taught the contract portion of the coaching, saying, “Essentially the most highly effective negotiating instrument is silence.”
He was speaking concerning the “energy of pause.” Pausing is a type of “simpler mentioned than finished” issues, particularly within the warmth of the second. Many individuals really feel uncomfortable when there’s silence or a pause in a dialog. Their nervousness can take over, and so they attempt to fill the empty house. In these moments, we will lose our negotiating energy as a commerce to ease our discomfort.
Pausing takes self-discipline. It’s clever to apply it usually in order that pausing turns into an ingrained behavior and maybe an unconscious response in occasions of stress.
Some methods to apply ‘the pause’ each day embody:
- Incorporate a 5–10-minute each day meditation, yoga or prayer apply into your day. These practices prepare us to decelerate, breathe and step away from all of it.
- Schedule common breaks all through your day the place you are taking your eyes off the display and concentrate on extra calming photographs just like the bushes outdoors your window or your canine at your toes.
- Transfer each 20-Half-hour. Set a reminder to cease and stretch, take a stroll or do the steps.
- Earlier than sending an essential e-mail to somebody or selecting up the telephone to return a name, stroll away for a second or take a deep breath.
2. Lively listening
At my first WomanUp! convention, Leslie Appleton Younger gave some sage recommendation that I’ll always remember. She mentioned, “Are you listening, or are you ready to speak?”
After we are within the warmth of negotiations, it’s regular to anticipate our subsequent phrases of protection somewhat than to actively hear, however, sadly, it’s most likely not one of the best technique for fulfillment — or our well being.
Active listening is whenever you not solely hear what somebody is saying but in addition attune to their ideas and emotions. You empathize with them. It turns a dialog into an lively, non-competitive, two-way interplay and may facilitate smoother negotiations.
Working towards empathy has been proven to lower stress and be an antidote to burnout.
As a result of lively listening requires full concentrate on whom we’re partaking with, it counters the tradition of multi-tasking, which has been shown to be harmful to cognitive functioning and promotes well-being.
3. Moments of laughter
After we LOL in actual life, it could possibly set the tone for profitable negotiations. Having a good laugh with a good friend or colleague previous to getting into negotiations may help you relieve anticipation nervousness and be more practical. In search of an applicable second for laughter throughout negotiations can set up a connection and customary floor in addition to diffuse stress and anger.
Not solely can laughter be productive in setting the tone for profitable negotiations, however it is usually good for our well being.
Studies present that laughter stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system — the chilliness out a part of your mind. It reduces stress, strengthens social bonds, will increase oxygen in your physique and even helps higher coronary heart well being. Research suggests laughter can lower stress hormones, cut back artery irritation and enhance HDL, the “good” ldl cholesterol — all nice causes to LOL extra.
They are saying, “How we do one factor is how we do every part.” By consciously placing practices in place that promote pausing, lively listening and moments of laughter, we will set ourselves up for a optimistic, extra productive negotiation expertise for everybody concerned.
