11 Methods To Say No (With out Truly Having To Say No)

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Saying no is straightforward when Bark Twain and Winnie the Poodle play tug of battle with our Nike Air Power 1s. The remainder of the time, it’s laborious. That is very true after we should say no to our household, associates, co-workers and purchasers.

A part of the problem is that we routinely overestimate the price of saying no. Will they assume I’m impolite or egocentric? If I decline at present, will I nonetheless get invited subsequent time? Nonetheless, the one approach to take possession of our restricted time is to regulate our commitments with strategic nos.

“Whenever you say sure to one thing, it’s crucial that you just perceive what you’re saying no to.”  — The ONE Factor

11 methods to say no (with out saying no)

Please take pleasure in and make use of these 11 methods to say no (with out saying no).

1. Get forward of the ask

Whenever you time-block your large rocks, it offers you a built-in response. “I’m sorry. I have already got a dedication at the moment.” Word, if that point is devoted to solo work, keep away from the error of sharing that information. Individuals will assume you’re assembly with somebody and see the block as immovable. 

2. Be on a mission

You might be 100% engaged. You progress by means of the workspace with out making eye contact. Generally your pace and body language say all of it. Everybody should maintain their requests for later. Waiters in every single place have mastered the no-eye-contact a part of this system.

3. Delay the choice

You may additionally name this one “No now, perhaps later.” Simply reply, “ I can’t proper now, can I get again to you?” Many “pressing” requests include a brief expiration date. By the point you circle again, they could have figured it out for themselves (mother and father with youngsters take observe) or discovered another useful resource (see No. 10). 

4. Escalate dedication

That is principally a conditional sure. If they comply with your request, you’ll comply with theirs. They should have some pores and skin within the sport. Scale your counter-proposal to the scope of their ask.

You’ll be able to request that they electronic mail you the small print, full a kind, evaluation a doc and even signal a contractual settlement (purchaser rep settlement, anybody?). You’d be amazed how many individuals can’t be bothered to even observe up with an electronic mail. 

5. Shift the deadline

Much like Delay the Choice, that is “No, now. Sure, later.” Bear in mind the previous “Gone Fishin’” indicators? They often had adjustable clock faces to point when the storekeeper would reopen. You’ll be able to’t meet at present, however you’d be completely satisfied to at 1 p.m. or 3 p.m. subsequent Tuesday.

6. Align on the precedence 

Generally individuals simply get caught up within the move. They dive in with out considering. Even if you’re the subordinate, you’ll be able to elevate the query, “Shouldn’t we be engaged on ____ as a substitute?” They’ll both agree or present proof on the contrary.

7. Attraction to equity

Whenever you’re stretched skinny, worn out and gazing a request that strongly resembles the proverbial final straw, attraction to their sense of equity. “I might love that can assist you out, however I already made commitments to [coworkers, clients, etc.] … It wouldn’t be truthful to them to not observe by means of. Thanks for understanding.” This technique is useful when somebody ignores your Cite Conflicts. 

8. Cite conflicts

That is an escalation clause. Generally you must spell it out. You merely gained’t violate a dedication you made to your loved ones, associates, companions or purchasers. To blow by means of this cease signal would violate your principles, and to ask you to violate them anyway would show their lack of rules. 

9. Batch choices

That is the love little one of Delay the Choice and Shift the Deadline with a smidgeon of paperwork. No telephones on the dinner desk. We pay invoices on the fifteenth and thirtieth. We think about all affords that are available in over the weekend at 9 a.m. on Mondays. You’d like to say sure, however guidelines are guidelines. 

10. Alternate useful resource

In case you are being requested for assistance on one thing to which you’ll be able to’t contribute a lot or don’t have assets to assist, you’re the improper individual. It’s time to direct site visitors. Have you ever already tried [correct person]? Did you ask Mother? Possibly, you aren’t the optimum place to begin. I wager you are able to do this should you first learn this e book/watch this class /learn the directions.

You’ll be able to mix this with nearly another method. One in every of my favorites is to first Escalate Dedication with an Alternate Useful resource after which supply my time.

11. Apologize with remorse

That is darn near a straight no. I’m so sorry. I can’t. I hate to say it, however I’m simply not capable of proper now. Lean into the remorse half as a result of there is no such thing as a as a result of. You shouldn’t all the time have to offer proof. Within the meantime, you’ll be able to reassure them it isn’t personal.

Whenever you begin saying no to requests that don’t meet your wants, you is perhaps shocked at how simple it’s. You’ll get extra time for your self, your work and the issues which are most vital to you. 

One query to ponder in your considering time: How can I make use of strategic nos to stop future life regrets?

Jay Papasan is the bestselling co-author of The Millionaire Actual Property Agent, SHIFT, and The ONE Factor. He at present serves because the Vice President of Strategic Content material at Keller Williams Realty, Inc.